A New Life

chistopher troy

I left the cold morning mist of the Bay and took a long drive into the Valley. This is where I hope to find the sun and a clearer conscience. The car is a convertible, but it isn’t mine. Its color almost matches the glint of the cloud’s edge; I find that somehow comical. I look nothing like myself these days: thinner, darker, less American. It’s taken me two attempts – but I’m here now. I look up and see a smile in the rear-view mirror and then I see my forehead and laugh out loud because I’m sun-burnt in February. I feel myself laughing harder and harder, my body jolts and jerks, but I can’t hear anything through the wind. I howl.

Letting go was not easy for me. It took time to go deaf to the criticisms, mine and theirs, and numb to ambition’s persistent tingle. My need to control is no longer; and gone with it, the burden life had become after all these years of trying. I feel the lightness in me now, the same kind glowing ashes must feel. And all it took was a death, a divorce and the end of a lifelong career…

– Christopher Troy

Criticism is an act of love. Share your thoughts with me below.

9 thoughts on “A New Life

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    1. In one year, I lost everything that was important to me. Some by choice, the rest beyond my control. I hope what drew you in was the sincerity of the feelings hidden in my words. Your comment shares this sincerity. Parallel indeed.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes the sincerity drew me. I appreciate your rawness. It’s refreshing. I’ve been on a similar journey. Eye opening yet liberating to be authentically me. I’m looking forward to the future.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Life changes are difficult but if you can find a way and get support, are a gateway to a better life especially when coming from a long and unhappy past. I came from such a place and took steps to bring about a change that led to moving to a new country and leaving much of my previous life behind holding on to only the things that really mattered to me. I hope that you have a light at the end of your tunnel, it seems so from your words.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Life must be so challenging. I’ve been there…. I took steps and move forward to start a new life…. I hope you can find happiness too. I don’t know if you have seen my tagline “Love the life you live. Live the life you love.”

    Liked by 1 person

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